Looking Back

I really should be doing some work but I'm a born procrastinator so its always a case of do it later - unless something needs cleaning at home, then I have to do that before I can relax; no one wants to relax in s**t tip of a house do they? So here I am tapping away waiting for my first customer of the day.

I've been doing retail since I was about sixteen. I had my first job in Poundstretcher on the edge of town and which, despite being renames several times, is still there and is now back to the same old name - incidentally the same people there and also the same stock - time warp or what? I didn't get paid much for it but I still remember getting my first pay day and nearly exploding with joy at how much was in there.

Between college, university and my crazy life I've had a string of retail jobs, my favourites having been the music stores such as Musiczone, Fopp and Zavvi. Musiczone was my longest job, four years and it certainly taught me a thing or two - well, Charlie and Emma did. They taught me to grow up and pull myself out of a dark hole I'd started to fall down a few years previous...

A week after my eighteenth birthday, my father died very suddenly without much warning at all, its a very hazy time now but I'd rather not go in to detail about it right now. After this happened I pretty much shut myself down, I ended up going away to university in Chester but things didn't work out like I wanted them to (another story for another time) and I ended up coming home to Blackpool.

Back in Blackpool things hadn't changed, I got myself into the same hole of drinking and smoking pot - which I'm not proud of at all, I had a job at the Grand Theatre over the Christmas period but after that mum was pestering me to get another job, so I applied to Musiczone where I didn't think much of it.

Not long after, I was called in for an interview and met Charlie who quizzed me and seemed a really happy and laid back guy - which I found out later was a brilliant way of managing his staff. I started not long after on part time hours and began my first job which would later move to full time hours.

Looking back on the sort of person I was back then I remember - and Charlie and Emma will certainly vouch for this - that I was grumpy, usually late, always tired and usually hung over. I didn't quite see it then but I definitely had a problem, not only with the copious drinking but also the pot.

Charlie and the gang would regularly tell me off, scold me and really try and pull me back down to earth; I was always sitting on the counter reading or procrastinating, I would wander around without my shoes on and line chairs up in the staff room so that I could go to sleep. I'm not blaming this all on my fathers passing at all, its all my own fault and making for letting myself sink further into myself, its very easy to do. I thanks Charlie, Emma and my old work colleagues for the support they gave me over the years and it was truly one of the best times of my life, I will never forget that.

These days, as fate would have it, I'm a Manager in my own store, adopting the same skills that Charlie used to motivate his staff, a couple of doors down from the old Musiczone which has now turned in to an American Candy store (not doing very well might I add). The whole of Blackpool is a ghost of its former self.

The streets are lined with empty shops or ones that are either closing down and turning into thrift or pound stores to accommodate with the needs of the society we've built up or just remaining empty altogether, its a shame, I remember Blackpool when it was still golden, now it seems sad and down-and-out. Blackpool is on its arse basically. The whole place has turned from a thriving family resort into a drinking and drugs dumping ground. Lovely.

I don't usually  stick around in jobs long but this time I seem to have landed on my feet, as I said I'm a Manager and I seem to be managing quite well (nice pun), I earn enough money to pay my mortgage and still treat my fiancee and two babies, oh yes and my myself, whenever I can but I would like to think that working in retail is just a temporary measure.

I'd really like to write, as I've said before. I find nothing more pleasurable than tapping away on this keyboard all day. My mind is actually quite a busy place and I need an outlet to let all these thought tumble out before they clog me up. I used to write a personal diary, I have about ten filled ones dating back all the way to 2000, but recently I've misplaced my recent one and I can't find it. I don't think I've written anything since after Majorca in May 2013. So, if I start going into the realms of my personal thoughts and feeling I do apologise if I offend anyone but isn't that why you're reading this? To get some 'dirt'? :)

It would be interesting to know, dear reader, if there's anything you would like to know about me or a subject on which for me to talk and discuss. I'd like to think I'm well read and worldly enough to have an opinion on most things. Plus I get in incredibly bored most of the time and anything is a welcome distraction these days.

Waffled on long enough, time to go procrastinate some more.